1. I am weak. I am decaying. I *am* a body rather than I *have* a body.
2. Deeply grateful for my usual state of health. Being in full control of one’s body is an utmost bliss.
3. Foods taste different. Taste is an interactional effect between the chemical makeup of foods and my physical state.
4. My body can sweat much more than I guess. My body can get much hotter than I think. My body can sleep much longer than it seems to stand.
5. Deeply grateful, again, for hot water, hot tea, hot soup.
6. Loneliness leaves its deepest cut when one is sick. (It is such a relief to live with someone who can help you get through.)
7. Everything is so fragile, transient, vulnerable. I need to be modest in everything.
8. Re-cognize that I am suffering with other beings. Connecting to all the suffering beings is one of the greatest virtues of being ill.
9. Maybe I need more “commas”(not comas!) in my life. I don’t need to catch up with their pace. I make up my mind to set my own pace and walk to it.
10. I’m living but also dying. The dialectics of living and dying comes home when I am sick.
Maybe I’m doing okay since I am writing this right now. :)
January 6, 2013